Self-Compassion During Quarantine
Self-Compassion is what got me through my darkest days during my journey with PTSD. I will go into detail about how it helped me in a different blog post, but I wanted to share the value of self-compassion with y’all during these unprecedented times. I find myself practicing self-compassion with myself almost every day since the quarantine started. It’s a key component that I use to reduce negative self-talk and anxiety.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion involves being kind towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain, it means you stop to acknowledge it and tell yourself “this is really difficult right now. How can I comfort and care for myself in this moment”?
Self-Compassion During Quarantine
As many of you have encountered, the quarantine and shelter-in-place have had a huge impact on our daily routines. We may not be as productive as we normally are, we may not be eating as healthy as we normally do, we may not be as active as we’d like to be, or maybe we just be feel “blah”, just to name a few. It’s very easy to get frustrated and begin to think negatively. I know I started to feel this way the 2nd week of quarantine.
Instead of mercilessly judging myself, here is how I practice self-compassion during quarantine:
- Acknowledge your inner dialogue
- Be your own hype man
- Redefine your goals in a way that adds value (not stress)
Acknowledge Your Inner Dialogue
When I begin to get frustrated with myself, I immediately recognize I’m frustrated and acknowledge my inner dialogue. You’re allowed to be frustrated or upset, it’s important to honor your feelings, however the goal here is to acknowledge you’re inner dialogue. What am I telling myself? Is it positive? Am I being hyper critical of myself? Am I telling myself kind things?
If the dialogue is negative, then we need to change that. Now that you’ve acknowledged your inner dialogue, it’s time to hype yourself up!
Be Your Own Hype Man
Have you ever had a friend who was being really hard on themselves? And you look at them like “what are you talking about?! Are you kidding me, look at you! You are amazing! Girl, literally you bless the earth with every step you take”. We are really good at hyping our friends up when they are not being compassionate with themselves. That is the kind of positive inner dialogue we should be having with ourselves as well.
Be kind to yourself in your inner dialogue. Be compassionate with yourself. Hype yourself up! Once I’ve acknowledged my inner dialogue, I check in with myself and begin to change the tone.
“Hey girl. This quarantine is crazy, yo. It’s ok to feel off, I mean like the whole world has been cancelled lol. It’s pretty serious and it’s ok to feel unmotivated. Don’t worry about being productive. It’s ok to be upset with how things are going. Don’t stress yourself out with what you “aren’t” doing. You aren’t ‘falling behind’ or ‘not doing enough’. You are enough. You’ve endured tough times and you will get through this. Girl, you doing just fine”.
Now that you’ve changed your dialogue to positive self-talk, let’s focus on adjusting your expectations during quarantine.
Redefine Your Goals in Way that Adds Value (Not Stress)
I’ve been hearing a lot of “If you don’t come out of this quarantine stronger, richer, better, fitter, [add goal here], then you’ve done it all wrong”.
First off, you don’t NEED to be doing anything right now. We in the middle of a PANDEMIC. Some of our most vulnerable people are sick. Some people don’t have jobs. These are tough times. Expectations during quarantine have to be re-evaluated. Take our norms and throw them out the window for now. I mean for real, nothing about the world right now is normal. Focus on redefining your routines and norms in a way that add value to your life.
Feeling like you NEED to do things, makes the task feel like a chore. Ask yourself instead, “what can I do to care for myself” or “what do I want for myself”.
For example, “I want to take care of myself. How can I care for myself? I feel better when I am out of the house, I’ll go on a nice walk or run today. I haven’t really interacted with anyone lately, I’ll reach out to friends and set up a zoom or phone call”.
Ultimately, we should want good things for ourselves because we are compassionate with ourselves. If you’re actions are driven by self-pity or feelings of incompetence, nothing you do will help. Why? Because ultimately, you aren’t being kind to yourself and you’ll begin to believe that toxic, negative things you tell yourself.
Your thoughts are powerful. Make sure your inner dialogue is positive and kind. Be compassionate with yourself.
Mahalo Nui Loa 🌈
Thank you for reading!